Kamdev( the 'lover-boy' God) helps mend my spine!

Was it already dawn? I seemed to have hardly slept a wink that the cooing calls of a koel stirred me awake! Well, looking out the window the sky was still ink-blue, twinkling in its night glory. But the midnight sonata carried on and it was not just one birdie singing in full throated ease. Another had chirped in. The duet signalled the mating season of the Koels and it was less wonder that the pre-dawn hours were abuzz with the birds and bees. I plonked back on the king-sized bed, exclusively “mine”, for the time being, with no ‘room’ for a partner.

So, here I was the lone ‘n’ lonely, when the mating season of the koels was in full swing. Brooding over the dismal proposition of a bed rest with a zillion restrictions, what bemused me was abstinence from s*x. I mean, even clinically, the mating game came under the scanner, for reasons whatsoever. Close on the heels of “Avoid alcohol and smoking”, comes the red flag “Avoid s*x”, blurring the line between harmful habits and biological needs! I have never seen “Don’t urinate”, “Don’t drink water” or “don’t sleep” being imposed to recuperate well.  That quintessential law  of nature to ensure the survival of the species, all on a sudden, becomes as forbidden as Adam’s apple(Why? Because the apple was infested with worms?). Well, if I, as a female-with-biological-needs, could feel the pinch with empathy for my partner, how would the hermits of those days  have felt? The ones who have been eulogized in the Great Indian scriptures were subject to the ultimate litmus test – to uphold celibacy when wayward Apsaras would lure them with seductive poses, with an objective of disrupting their penance!(Much like presenting an extra large cheese burst pizza, when you are on a crash diet). The ruffled up victims would start all over again, and the victors rising above temptations, would get bestowed with fanciful honours! Not to mention, with a power to curse and annhilate. In the eternal duel between Kama and Vairagya, Kamdev had borne the brunt a good deal.

While my mind was flitting between images of Kamdev and a stern looking hermit, I could sense a fragrance in the room(No, it was not the mosquito coil that was programmed to disperse aromas at erratic intervals). The melodious strain of the koel sounded even sweeter than usual. From somewhere afar, I could see light streaking through the window- a big flash, and lo! I was face to face with a beautiful masculine form. Was I dreaming? Was it real? Either ways, I was not in a position to jump off the bed and make a dash to my parents’ room(crunched spinal condition, I was ridden with). Or was it my better half trying to play a prank(by planting such surprise visits in demigod disguises)? My doubts were dismissed when the ‘form’ spoke.

“Dearie, it is me…Kamdev”, the form spoke in between sniffles. Well, someone could  have knocked me down with a feather.  But I sat transfixed on my bed, and let Mr Kamdev do the talking(I dammed the flurry of questions that were waiting to burst forth).

“I came here looking to mend my broken bow”, he showed the bow dangling in two halves. “I have a long list of candidates, to aim my darts at and get them love-struck”, he declared, unrolling a scroll,  that resembled Hanuman’s tail.Why this unearthly hour, for a "visit", I thought to myself,  As if reading my mind, Kamdev continued “Humans these days only welcome me in the dark shady corners of their lives. They no longer treat me as a royal guest, who should be entertained in broad daylight”.

Kamdev heaved a big sigh and blew his nose hard, “It makes me feel like a sneaky little thief, to go into hiding, while doing my works. Imagine hiding under a cobweb-ridden cot, just because a couple in the midst of coupling, abandon the act, to respond to a ping on their phone! Worse, I have never felt more ashamed when my darts struck a wrong lover boy, once. I was clueless that he was coveting his neighbour’s wife. How was I to decipher  electronic interactions, which this chappie cleverly engaged in, to woo that lady!. I am yet to learn the nitty gritty of those. Oh well…” he sniffled and said apologetically, “Sorry, the flowers sometimes get the better of me. These hybrid varieties sure cause allergies!”. Before he could rant further about the GM(genetically modified) flowers, the mists playing truant, when he wants to disappear instantly(Gods have it tough too, I gathered), I interrupted him.

“But Mr Kamdev, how can I help mend your broken bow?”, I asked. He replied enthusiastically, “You see, I need someone who can get the arch of my bow just right.  This can be accomplished only by a person…” Before he could complete his sentence, I exclaimed “…the woman, who is the perfect model of Venus?” literally gloating with pride. “No, no” Kamdev replied “by a woman who has been under strict abstinence from sex for 3 full moons”.  I cocked an eyebrow. Kamdev continued “ I was cursed for goofing up with my targets. And only a married woman, who has not courted me for 3 full moons could  redeem me and my broken bow”. Well, I wondered, Kamdev could have visited those ashrams to choose his candidates. I would have continued questioning, had not an idea flashed in my mind!

“Ok, Mr Kamdev, I will do it for you but for that you will need to flex up my spine a bit”. To which Kamdev replied “Of course, while you start with the task, just remember one thing. Do it with all love, just for the love of it. And, your spine will bend at your will”. Well, why not give it a shot, I thought. So, I set off to mending the bow, with Kamdev’s help in threading the flowers. His sneezing broke the silence along with my questions too. 

On asking whether Vatsyayan drew inspiration from him to write about Kama sutra, Kamadev went in a chatty mode. He proclaimed that he wanted to manifest before the creative writer to give his valuable tips but was deputed to the other worlds for an important mission. Had he, Kamadev, given his ‘touch’ to  Vatsayayan’s work, every human would be carrying a pocket book of Kamastura than stuffing their empty spaces with XXX movies and c*ndom packs!!! But he also added that the book is a better guide for erotica than the modern day subscriptions available these days. He went on to rhapsodize about Kamasutra as a work of art and creativity exploring the realms of sensuality, sexuality, and surrealism. I soaked these revelations like a sponge.

As he went on to elaborate, I discovered that I was mending the bow with great enthusiasm, while sitting in different convenient poses . True to Kamdev’s words, I did not feel the stiffness much nor the shooting pain. The love for what I was doing, had flooded my mind, submerging the anger, irksomeness and the pain as well. No wonder, my spine was receiving clear signals from my mind to stop the tingling and jiggling and “bend at will”. My mind was like the archer and my spine-the bow that would release those arrows- marking my path ahead. With this understanding, I strung the last flower. Holding the bow tenderly, I said “Here you go , Mr Kamdev”. Kamadev patted my head and gave me a fresh, scented bloom, “For the love of it” . No sooner I sniffed the bloom, I sneezed. It had the effect of blowing out the wisps of night. The skies  turned orangish red and the cacophony of crows signalled dawn. I rubbed my eyes and literally jumped up awake to search for traces of Kamdev and his parting gift. There were none! But the lessons of love and healing remained in memory.

(So folks, before winding up the day, I dispatched a surprise gift to my partner – a pocket "K" book. And, I have earmarked the 59^th pose of  Yogasutra for the ultimate flexibility test for my spine. Well, of course,  not without my doc giving the 'green' for practising such poses. But how do i pose my query to him without the fear of  being dismissed? It is Kamdev to the rescue!!!)